THE APT PUPIL

The 6th grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class,

'Which human body part increases to ten times its size when stimulated?'

No one answered until little Mary stood up and said,

'You should not be asking sixth graders a question like that! I'm going to tell my parents, and they will go and tell the Principal, who will then fire you!'

Mrs. Parks ignored her and asked the question again,

'Which body part increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?'

Little Mary's mouth fell open. Then she said to those around her,

'Boy, is she going to get in big trouble!'

The teacher continued to ignore her and said to the class,

'Anybody?'

Finally, Billy stood up, looked around nervously, and said,

The body part that increases 10 times its size when stimulated is the pupil of the eye.'

Mrs. Parks said, 'Very good, Billy,' then turned to Mary and continued.

'As for you, young lady, I have three things to say:

One, you have a dirty mind.

Two, you didn't read your homework.

And three, one day you are going to be very, VERY disappointed.'

SANTA CLAUS FOR ADULTS

Why does a child have difficulty distinguishing fantasy from reality? (Santa Claus is as real to a preschooler as the monster that lives under his bed!) Kids rely on make-believe to bridge the gaps in their psyche, gaps that are waiting to be filled in by experiences they've yet to realize. As we age, some of us are able to replace make-believe with real-life experiences while some of us never let go of childhood fantasies, mostly out of fear. These adults never mature, which would account for the cultural-based beliefs in the supernatural and the individual's irrational attachment to superstition, both of which are rooted in a deep-seated fear of a painful death - our own mortality.

SACRIFYSHIUM FINTELLECTUS

"Though the wages of freedom demand everlasting vigilance,
the cost of fealty claims the sacrifice of the intellect." - Jean-Baptiste Deaudeux

EMBRACING THE MYSTERY OF ART

Ironically, much of what you see in a work of art remains invisible to the mind's eye until the mind itself can unlock the mystery. But don't hurt yourself...sometimes it'll do you good to embrace the mystery, and leave it just as it is - a mystery.

A ZOOTOPIAN CANON

"I am Dodo, neither black nor white but rather fluffy, and I'm beaky to a fault. I am Zootopian, but from the cut of your genes, I'd say your apple didn't fall far from my tree. I am life itself, the wayward whim of several billion cells to be you for a little while. I am the mote in the Eye of Providence, the thorn in the Lion's Paw, and as such, I am as spiritually enlightened as I am secularly incredulous, though I often enjoy a short respite with the agnostic. I am your alter ego, the avatar of your dreams. And like a candle in this dark, demon-haunted world of yours, I am your lifeline. I am Ethos, your beacon of righteousness in a sea of decadence and debauchery. I am Logos, the voice of reason when waves of tumultuous doubt cloud your mind. I am Pathos, for I carry the burden of your woes and summon the wind as you sail in pursuit of your bliss. Though I credit a certain, fastidiously fishified fellow with having created me, I salute all the folks I've ever met for having invested themselves in the dream in which I live: Thou hast breathed life into me and given me a reason for being, and for this I am eternally grateful. I am Dodo."